Episode Transcript
This is Rachel and recovery. We're back with Marika and she's going to tell us the rest of her story. Thanks for listening.
How did this impact your finances?
Like I said, I was from the beginning of 17 years, I was just working, so I was always working. It was because I'm coming from. Poor family. That was my drive. Yeah. I think my vehicle to just say, you know what? No, no, no. I don't want to to repeat all tablets. I don't want to be poor. I don't want my child to ever feel like he can't get a sweetie. Or if he wants nice shoes. I wanted to provide for him. I wanted him to say, you know what, I can buy you these shoes, but. Remember that you can must be always grateful. That's something that I'm teaching him always, because he is very privileged and I'm so glad that I can provide him with the best and my husband too. But financially, yeah, it was my vehicle to just say no, I'm not going to repeat the past there. I don't ever want to feel again being without water or with. Food or with electricity or sleeping on the ground. I don't want it ever to have. My child must never experience the things that I've been through. So that is something that I am just very strong for. That's something that's I'm very proud to say I OK, how has this impacted your overall health? Long term, yes. Oh my goodness, yes, it did. I was. I was always son like I was 42 case he lose when I was 17 years old. And then when I started to talk and feel
more relaxed, I started to eat. Oh my goodness, I was just like the emotional eater. And it really affected me because I had miscarriage in 2017 and it was just downhill for me because then. I think that was a breaking point. After the miscarriage, I was just letting go and I was like, you know what? That's maybe a sign that I'm not a good enough man. Maybe that's a sign that I may, I am meant to be not happy or things like that. But like I said, in the last three years when I moved to Australia, I really started to put my house first. I started to say, oh, OK, why do you want to run to the to the kitchen every time? You want to. You are going through a stressful time. Then I would run to the kitchen. I grab myself something to eat. And now I'm like mindful. Why do I want to eat? Is there a reason why I want to eat, or is it just a comfort thing that that makes me comfort when I'm eating? So yeah, but I'm very mindful about that these days. Fair enough.
How has this impacted your social life?
Oh my goodness,
I was always. I think for me, I'm an introvert. Like, honestly, don't put me on social media. I'm like an extrovert. I can do Facebook class, do interviews like this. I don't mind, but don't put me in a place or a room full of people. Then I'm like in the corner. Me and my husband, we will just sit there and if you don't talk to us, we won't make an effort to talk to you because we are so. For me, I don't like it. I'm. I've just joined a fitness, Aqua fitness group and the women is just talking while they're doing the exercises in the swimming pool. I'm like just just being quiet. I just. So for me socially with when I'm, I mean people when I'm surrounded by a lot of people and I don't know them. Then I'm just hiding away. But if I do know you, Oh my goodness, then I like to talk, and that's something else then I then you get the social media butterfly. But otherwise if I don't know you some well, because I learned early in my in my life that not everyone is for you, you don't need to share. How can I say you don't need to? I'm how can I trust everyone? Because that was something a weak, not a weak. I don't think it's a weakness, but I was easy to trust someone and just be open to trust everyone and everything and then they bite you on the button, say no, that they use your things that you're telling them to change the story
and use it as as what do you call it as nauseous things like that to through a Grinch or. Sorry, my Afrikaans brain is not thinking straight in English today. But anyway, you know, for me I am struggling with trust. If I let you in my corner these days, I'm very particular with my time also. So I like to spend my time with women. Who's empowering? Who is talking about goals? Who is talking about growth and not talking about anyone? Other people. So I am very particular these days with my time with friends because I do know that your environment is playing a big and a huge role in your life. If your environment is negative and gossiping and things like that, you are actually like becoming the six person who is negative, who is gossiping the whole day, who is nagging all day. And that's something that I just lent and said no, you know what? It's good, the environment and it's it's nice to because you do get some bad days. You do. I mean, I'm still healing. It's not an overnight thing. That said, now you're here, then now you can move on and you will be happy forever and you will always smile. But some days I do have those days and I don't want to get out of bed. I want to sleep in and. And I'm quiet. And then my tribe or my group of friends will exactly know when I they will know and say, OK, Marika, you have been quiet for a day, what's wrong? And then you have that trust and that loyalty that you can tell them what's going on. And they are not judging you, they are just supporting you. And they are encouraging you and saying, you know what? It's OK, take take straight back, rest a little bit tomorrow. Come back. And then go again. And so your environment, friends is a very
important thing for me. Okay. How has this impacted your long term mental health? Oh, there was a time when I was young, I was trying to take my life a few times, drinking pills, cutting myself
for me, my mental health. It was for me. I think after my miscarriage, it was one day. That I was just feeling like driving into a tree and end my life because I was so sad. I was really so sad. But that was because of all the pills that I was on. I had all the side effects of all the pills that I was on to get me through everything. And yeah, in mental health it is OK. I think for me mentally, I'm now more. What do you call it? Reason and more. I respect what I'm telling to myself. If I'm telling myself I'm not good enough, then I am like, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop just now. Don't talk negative to yourself. What is going on? And then immediately I've made that switch in my mind and say, you know what, no, you've got this. You are a powerful. I've got my affirmations like. Reigned in or put in my mindset when I'm getting that negative force, I'm like, no, no, no, snap out of it, Marica, you are, you are just tired. You just need to stay back or you're just overwhelmed because that is something I like to take on a lot of things, but these days I'm like no, just three things a day. That's all good because. For me, I was. I took a year after my mascara. I took a year and I was just working, working, working. And I didn't work on my relationship, my child or my husband. And now I'm putting them first. And when I'm like overwhelmed and my mental health is not in a good spot, I'm like, no, take a step back, rest, do some things
that you like to do because we have all of these roles we have. We have been, we must be a wife, we must be a mom, we must be a friend, we must be a daughter. A sister. And for now I'm like, OK, let's just take a bit my time. It's me. If I don't, if I don't take care of myself first, I can't put I can't put love or energy into anyone else. So for me it is taking my, I'm my, I'm making myself product So that I can be the best version for my husband, my child, my mom, my sister, my colleagues and things like that. OK,
to other victims out there, what advice would you want to give them?
For me it is to rediscover who you truly are. There is a warrior queen inside of each and every one of us. Or in Main kings and. It took I knew from a young age that I was I was strong and brave. And then people put up they people will put labels on you. They will put up labels and say you're not good enough. You won't find a loyal husband, you will always struggle. You are a victim. They will put these labels on you. But you know what? That's only because they see how bright your life actually shine. And they wanted them, your life, with all of these negative opinions. And start ripping off when you rediscover who you truly are. Just start to rip off those labels. And so for for each and everyone who's listening, just don't give up. You are here for a reason. We are cycle Breakers. We are warrior Queens and things. We are. We are here to strike all the generation of persons and we are here to rip off these labels that people put on us because we actually did it. We didn't set off the boundaries. And that was giving these people,
giving them the opportunity to put labels on us and say, you know what? You're not good enough. So, yo, that's about it.
OK. What was the grooming process like? Do you remember being so young? No.
OK.
How has this impacted your faith?
My faith? I was. I I know the Salon 23. The Lord is my shepherd. That Bible verse helped me through everything every time it happened to me. That was the verse that I was reading. The Lord is my shepherd. The Lord is my shepherd. That was something that was stuck with me, that Bible verse. And that was when I was when I could start to read. Since I was six, I could read. That was the only verse in the Bible that I would read for 17 years. The Lord is my shepherd and I would read it every time. Every time it happened, the bad things happened. I would go into the Bible and read my passage. That was my verse, and so I couldn't be here without the Lord. For me to be honest, my faith is just like I needed to forgive my dad for what he was doing to me. Because I do know that there's a reason why he didn't know what he did was not it, wasn't it. It shouldn't have done it. But I do know that there had to be something in his life that was broken and sad and things like that to go on and go through to the next generation. But yeah, I wouldn't be here without the Lord. Like still doing the summit where I'm just doing with all of these amazing women. I would never thought that I would do it, but I was just like Lord either way. And he sent me 23 speakers all over the world that is also helping other women. So I mean, wow, this is something that's awesome.
Okay, is there anything else you would like to add? No. I think that's fun so much.
When is when is the summit? If you don't know, you started on the 30th of January, so we are on day 10 now, but they you can still join. There is still so much women and interviews that's going on till the 22nd, till the 22nd of February. So there's still I think 13 days left of of all of these amazing warrior women and men. And if you want to join, you can do it. It's for free. You're getting like 1 e-mail a day in your inbox of the interview and the Free Key. And yeah, it is nice.
That's awesome. All right, thank you for ringing on our show.
And everybody, TuneIn, on next Thursday at 10:00 AM, follow us on your favorite social media platform. And or podcast platform and always if you have any questions, reach out to Rachel on recovery.com. Thank you.
