Episode Transcript
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.600 --> 00:00:03.439
Hi, this is Rachel and recover. We have backs coming back. We're
2
00:00:03.480 --> 00:00:09.199
just going to finish the interview.
For the second part. Re victimization or
3
00:00:09.279 --> 00:00:19.600
victim blaming, I don't think I
was. You know, I've never had
4
00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:27.039
the finger pointed at me, which
I'm fortunate on I know that a lot
5
00:00:27.039 --> 00:00:32.679
of people do go through that.
It depends. I'm not entirely sure what
6
00:00:32.719 --> 00:00:37.079
you mean by the term, the
terms, but I mean of course I
7
00:00:37.079 --> 00:00:41.640
repeated the pattern. Right, I
ended up in another abusive relationship, but
8
00:00:43.399 --> 00:00:48.719
I don't know. Would you class
that as re victimization? Yes, because,
9
00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:54.200
I mean, when you are repeating
patterns, it's very easy to get
10
00:00:54.240 --> 00:01:00.880
react like that. Stuff comes back
up again. So and but sometimes it's,
11
00:01:00.960 --> 00:01:07.359
you know, people making comments and
other times it's people noticing you've got
12
00:01:07.400 --> 00:01:11.719
your shame or your bat signal saying
Hey, I've been abused, please come
13
00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:19.120
abuse me, kind of thing.
And so I think predators are I mean
14
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:23.519
people look for that and they know
that they can abuse you because you've been
15
00:01:23.560 --> 00:01:29.400
abused. Yeah, okay, so
I understand what you mean. So what
16
00:01:29.439 --> 00:01:33.239
I would say is that when I
started dating again, when, for the
17
00:01:33.239 --> 00:01:38.799
first time I was single in a
long time, that certainly that the type
18
00:01:38.840 --> 00:01:42.840
of person I attracted was not a
good quality man, shall we say,
19
00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:49.239
and that there was really clear that
they were reading something in in me.
20
00:01:49.359 --> 00:01:57.879
I was obviously giving out a particular
energy that invited me being and there was
21
00:01:57.959 --> 00:02:02.599
certainly a time in my life where
I was drinking a lot and taking a
22
00:02:02.640 --> 00:02:07.519
lot of recreational drugs, and when
I reflect back now, I mean I
23
00:02:07.560 --> 00:02:13.479
was putting myself in some really dangerous
situations with men, you know, really
24
00:02:13.560 --> 00:02:20.199
not taking care of my my health, my world being my safety, both
25
00:02:20.199 --> 00:02:24.360
physically and sexually, and I can
see now that those are all ways of
26
00:02:24.400 --> 00:02:30.599
me just enacting that. You know
that trauma and you know that just playing
27
00:02:30.639 --> 00:02:35.000
out in my life without me having
any real understanding of what was happening.
28
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:39.319
So I can see how easy it
is for that to happen and I'm quite
29
00:02:39.439 --> 00:02:46.439
fortunate, I think, that nothing
worse came of those situations. Okay,
30
00:02:47.479 --> 00:03:00.400
has this impacted your career? It's
impacted it in an incredibly positive way and
31
00:03:00.479 --> 00:03:07.439
also in an incredibly challenging way,
and because it was very, very hard
32
00:03:07.479 --> 00:03:15.080
for me to put myself in the
public eye and be seen. So you
33
00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:19.560
know the world of social media that
we live in now. You you know,
34
00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:22.599
you really do have to be okay
showing up in the world, you
35
00:03:22.599 --> 00:03:27.000
know, speaking out, putting yourself
on camera, making yourself seen, and
36
00:03:27.639 --> 00:03:30.240
I really struggled with that for a
long time. So it's been a real
37
00:03:31.280 --> 00:03:39.479
uphill battle to put myself out there
and to speak about my story without shame,
38
00:03:39.599 --> 00:03:44.280
and that still comes up every now
and again. Even in the last
39
00:03:44.319 --> 00:03:46.960
couple of days I've been speaking about
some stuff and I could feel that's familiar
40
00:03:47.039 --> 00:03:55.680
contraction in my throat. You know
that. So, but what it means
41
00:03:55.879 --> 00:04:02.199
is that for every step forward I've
taken, I'm so damn proud of myself
42
00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:06.240
because I know what it took me
to get there and I don't want to
43
00:04:06.240 --> 00:04:11.919
lose sight of that, you know, to really say, yeah, you
44
00:04:11.960 --> 00:04:15.279
know what this has been. This
has been a long journey and I've earned
45
00:04:15.720 --> 00:04:23.240
every single little bit of this.
Okay, we've kind of hit on this,
46
00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:29.800
but how has this impacted you're dating
life? Yeah, that's been an
47
00:04:29.800 --> 00:04:38.120
interesting journey in itself. So I
just spent the last two years in Central
48
00:04:38.160 --> 00:04:46.439
America and so I was traveling and
working. I had no plan to come
49
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.360
back to the UK and I think
it was the best thing that could have
50
00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:57.240
happened because I just took those two
years completely out for myself. Okay,
51
00:04:57.399 --> 00:05:02.839
no dating, no nothing, and
I think that was a really important foundation,
52
00:05:03.319 --> 00:05:09.480
because now I can step in,
where I am stepping into the dating
53
00:05:09.519 --> 00:05:12.879
space, knowing my value and knowing
my work for the first time in my
54
00:05:12.920 --> 00:05:21.319
life, and I think if you
try to day without that, then that's
55
00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:25.480
when you invite in. And again, I've been here right, I did
56
00:05:25.519 --> 00:05:29.480
all of this before. That's where
you invite in all the relationships that are
57
00:05:29.560 --> 00:05:36.360
maybe either an imbalance in power or
maybe they're toxic on healthy behaviors. Maybe
58
00:05:36.439 --> 00:05:42.079
it's that narcissistic codependent relationship. You
know, I've been there before as well.
59
00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:49.399
But knowing my value and being able
to hold that position of knowing what
60
00:05:50.160 --> 00:05:55.560
is best for me and what I
want, I think is the most powerful
61
00:05:55.600 --> 00:06:00.120
thing of all because I think,
again this is something that comes up a
62
00:06:00.120 --> 00:06:04.040
lot with trauma healing, is that
if we've not been in an environment when,
63
00:06:04.199 --> 00:06:09.519
when we're younger, where it was
okay for us to want things,
64
00:06:09.519 --> 00:06:13.160
okay to express what we need and
express what we want, then we can
65
00:06:13.199 --> 00:06:17.079
grow into adults who actually have no
idea what we want and it's very difficult
66
00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:21.680
then to enter a healthy relationship if
we don't actually know what we want or
67
00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:26.240
what we're looking for in that relationship. I don't know if that resonates with
68
00:06:26.279 --> 00:06:31.240
you. Oh, yes, no, that's that's kind of the story of
69
00:06:31.279 --> 00:06:36.600
my life. I been in and
out of a piece of relationships probably since
70
00:06:36.639 --> 00:06:46.319
I was fourteen years old, so
I completely understand that. How has this
71
00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:54.680
impacted your finances? Wow, there
has been an awful lot of money spent
72
00:06:54.759 --> 00:07:00.360
on therapy. I can tell you
that. I don't want to know how
73
00:07:00.439 --> 00:07:09.240
much, but let's see. You
know, ultimately it's a double edged sword
74
00:07:09.319 --> 00:07:11.839
with like with a lot of these
things, you know, on the one
75
00:07:11.879 --> 00:07:16.560
hand, yeah, there's been a
huge financial investment to recover. On the
76
00:07:16.600 --> 00:07:25.360
other hand it's led me to my
purpose and that feels like the most important
77
00:07:25.360 --> 00:07:29.680
thing to me, that I'm here
on this earth and I'm living exactly what
78
00:07:29.720 --> 00:07:32.199
it as I was put here to
do. And I think that's so often
79
00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:39.959
with with many of us, that
that pain becomes our purpose and then it
80
00:07:40.000 --> 00:07:46.360
becomes about something bigger than money.
And that's not to say that money isn't
81
00:07:46.360 --> 00:07:51.680
important, important of course, but
at the same time when I feel I'm
82
00:07:51.759 --> 00:08:01.120
operating from that space of truly living
what I'm here to do, then everything
83
00:08:01.160 --> 00:08:05.439
starts to flow a little more naturally
and the fact that I am able to
84
00:08:05.720 --> 00:08:11.279
give and to contribute to the health
and the safety and the well being of
85
00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:18.199
somebody else, everything all day is
of much higher value to me than any
86
00:08:18.360 --> 00:08:22.240
number I could put on a ticket
of the amount that I've spent on coaches
87
00:08:22.360 --> 00:08:31.439
or therapists. Now I get that
it has it ever kept you from,
88
00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:39.440
like, getting jobs or positions or
your education? I've always worked for myself
89
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:45.080
and so I think that, look, I'm going to say that loan of
90
00:08:45.159 --> 00:08:48.600
mindset. You know I was and
you know trauma isolates us right. So
91
00:08:48.720 --> 00:08:52.600
that's the trauma response to say I
don't need anyone, I can do this
92
00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:56.960
by myself, I'm going to do
it alone, which obviously doesn't serve us
93
00:08:56.960 --> 00:09:01.559
in many ways, but in the
on srepreneurial world it can be kind of
94
00:09:01.559 --> 00:09:07.360
helpful, because it can it can
make you take risks and put yourself in
95
00:09:07.440 --> 00:09:13.960
spaces that perhaps you wouldn't have otherwise. So I have got gone out alone
96
00:09:15.039 --> 00:09:16.720
and gone, you know what,
like I'm just going to give this thing
97
00:09:16.759 --> 00:09:24.639
a go and there's been a lot
of moments where my trauma has come up
98
00:09:24.679 --> 00:09:31.159
and has presented big challenges to me
moving forward, but then I've just taken
99
00:09:31.159 --> 00:09:35.679
those as opportunities for growth. Okay, how can I keep moving forward?
100
00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:39.200
How can I keep moving through this? And Yeah, they've been times when
101
00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:43.200
I've stayed stock and there have been
times where it's taken me a lot longer
102
00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:48.960
to do something than I probably would
have liked myself, if I'm honest.
103
00:09:50.440 --> 00:09:54.080
But then again, I think that's
a big part of the healing journey in
104
00:09:54.120 --> 00:10:00.120
itself. It's accepting that the process
takes the time that it takes and that
105
00:10:00.360 --> 00:10:03.679
we're here for the journey, not
for the that's so Corny, isn't it?
106
00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:05.960
But it's so true, and it's
about the journey, not the end
107
00:10:07.000 --> 00:10:11.919
result, and it's about who you're
becoming as you move forward on that journey,
108
00:10:13.120 --> 00:10:16.440
not about getting to an endpoint,
you know, a job and income
109
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:22.679
goal. Yeah, yeah, does
that make sense now? I get that.
110
00:10:24.440 --> 00:10:33.600
How has this impacted your overall health
long term? Wow, it's funny
111
00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:37.639
because on the outside you would have
always considered me to be quite a healthy
112
00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:41.879
person, which is why I always
say that you know you should never judge
113
00:10:41.919 --> 00:10:45.799
a book by its cover, because
you would look at you would have looked
114
00:10:45.799 --> 00:10:48.879
at me in the past and said
that I'm healthy, I'm strong and athletic,
115
00:10:50.399 --> 00:10:54.759
but what you didn't see as all
the unhealthy relationships with with food,
116
00:10:54.840 --> 00:10:58.879
you know, the exercising, the
burnout, all of the stuff that was
117
00:10:58.919 --> 00:11:05.440
happening under the surface. And I
don't know for sure, but I would
118
00:11:05.519 --> 00:11:09.960
guess that if I carried on on
that path then at some point my body
119
00:11:09.960 --> 00:11:13.639
would have said no and there would
have been some kind of illness or disease
120
00:11:13.679 --> 00:11:22.320
manifesting there. Like I can't say
for sure, but I hope that I've
121
00:11:22.320 --> 00:11:30.360
managed to address this stuff at a
point where I'm taking away some of this
122
00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:35.720
the pressure and the stress and the
anxiety from my body so that I don't
123
00:11:35.759 --> 00:11:39.840
have to live with holding that as
I move forward. But there was certainly
124
00:11:39.919 --> 00:11:50.440
a lot of years of me treating
my body very badly. House has impacted
125
00:11:50.480 --> 00:12:00.080
your social life. Wow, I
would have always called myself an inch of
126
00:12:00.159 --> 00:12:07.320
it. So I was never one
for being in big crowds and big social
127
00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:13.759
environments anyway, and I think there's
a fine line between introversion and isolation.
128
00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:20.559
Being in the introvert, you know, liking your own company, needing time
129
00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:26.879
to yourself to to refresh is absolutely
fine. But the when that starts to
130
00:12:26.879 --> 00:12:33.159
step into isolation and disconnection, and
then it becomes a different story. And
131
00:12:33.240 --> 00:12:39.159
I think I probably walked that line
for a very long time. So sometimes
132
00:12:39.240 --> 00:12:43.960
it was a healthy way of of
letting things happen, sometimes it wasn't.
133
00:12:43.960 --> 00:12:48.080
And it but again, with the
knowledge that I had a few years ago,
134
00:12:48.720 --> 00:12:50.960
I didn't understand enough to know what
was happening there, whereas now I
135
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:56.559
do, and now I have that
knowledge, I can choose. I think
136
00:12:56.600 --> 00:13:01.679
that's the the important difference. It's
having the conscious awareness. Okay, are
137
00:13:01.720 --> 00:13:07.639
we consciously aware that were taking time
to ourselves to recharge, or are we
138
00:13:07.720 --> 00:13:13.559
shutting down as a trauma response?
And that's the important distinction. I think.
139
00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:20.080
Fair enough. What are some of
the hurdles along the way that you
140
00:13:20.159 --> 00:13:31.320
have not already mentioned? I wouldn't
I don't know if this is a hurdle,
141
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:35.919
but I would certainly say that this
journey is not a straight light,
142
00:13:39.799 --> 00:13:46.159
and I understand. I'm the big
moments where I thought, you know what,
143
00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:50.639
like I'm there, like this is
it, I've got it. All
144
00:13:50.639 --> 00:13:54.919
figured out. I'm there. Coming
back to the UK was one of those
145
00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:58.879
moments. For example, I was
living in Mexico. I ended up back
146
00:13:58.919 --> 00:14:03.879
in the UK by not by design. I couldn't get an extension to my
147
00:14:03.960 --> 00:14:07.759
visa there and it was a lastminute
thing and I was in a really,
148
00:14:07.799 --> 00:14:13.960
really good place there and then I
came back to the UK to my family
149
00:14:13.080 --> 00:14:20.480
home that I haven't lived in for
twenty years and boom there was a whole
150
00:14:20.600 --> 00:14:30.480
other layer of stuff and I think
there's something about that. It's about removing
151
00:14:30.519 --> 00:14:35.240
the expectation okay, and just accepting
that, yes, there will be periods
152
00:14:35.320 --> 00:14:39.519
of time where new stuff comes up, no matter where we are on this
153
00:14:39.600 --> 00:14:41.919
journey, and that's okay, you
know, and that could of course,
154
00:14:41.919 --> 00:14:48.320
they're the challenges, the hurdles,
I think, get smaller over time or
155
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:52.840
we maybe we just build a greater
tool kit, greater resources to be able
156
00:14:52.879 --> 00:15:00.120
to deal with them over time.
But I think the illusion that the as
157
00:15:00.120 --> 00:15:05.960
an end point, it's something that
we need to remove. You know,
158
00:15:05.000 --> 00:15:13.440
it's just it's just the continuous path
of life and life continues to present challenges
159
00:15:13.559 --> 00:15:18.720
or hurdles and it's how we develop
the scup talkit or the skill set to
160
00:15:18.720 --> 00:15:24.440
to bounce back from those. You
know, I say to clients sometimes that,
161
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:30.120
you know, it's really important to
measure. For example, let's say
162
00:15:31.639 --> 00:15:35.480
typical pattern is to dissociate or disconnect. Okay, well, how long till
163
00:15:35.559 --> 00:15:39.960
you come back to connection? You
know, is it? Was it six
164
00:15:39.000 --> 00:15:45.440
months in the past before you re
emerged from your depression or from, you
165
00:15:45.480 --> 00:15:46.960
know, showing yourself away in your
room? Okay, well, this time,
166
00:15:48.039 --> 00:15:50.320
was it two months? And then
two months become one month, one
167
00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:54.039
month is, you know, two
weeks and then we're talking a day.
168
00:15:54.159 --> 00:16:00.559
And you know, those periods of
time that it takes us to reregulate ourselves
169
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:03.799
and get back to being able to
go about our day to day life.
170
00:16:03.879 --> 00:16:07.159
I think is a really important measure. So it's that. Okay, the
171
00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:11.240
hurdles are going to come, and
can we accept that? Can we welcome
172
00:16:11.320 --> 00:16:17.679
them come? We just know that
being as as part of the journey and
173
00:16:18.000 --> 00:16:25.440
learn how to skip over them a
little bit faster each time. How has
174
00:16:25.480 --> 00:16:33.080
the suffected your long term mental health? Where much depression, anxiety and well,
175
00:16:33.120 --> 00:16:37.039
I was completely disconnected from myself,
you know, and again, I
176
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:41.559
don't know if your listeners know much
about polly of Abel theory, but that
177
00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:47.919
is the survival response of the body
to go into what we call a dorsal
178
00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:53.360
shutdown. So the body has been
through some kind of overwhelming threat and just
179
00:16:53.399 --> 00:16:59.080
shots down. And so for some
people that's depression, for some people that's
180
00:16:59.120 --> 00:17:03.440
not leaving their house. For me
it was an ability to suppose of the
181
00:17:03.559 --> 00:17:07.839
function in the outside world, but
I was just completely disconnected from my body.
182
00:17:07.920 --> 00:17:14.119
So I didn't feel anything and I
didn't do emotions. I and again
183
00:17:14.160 --> 00:17:18.960
I wasn't really present right I wasn't
present in conversations with people. So it
184
00:17:18.000 --> 00:17:23.400
was only actually when I started healing
that I started to feel things. And
185
00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:32.319
then there was a period of horrific
anxiety and horrific flashbacks and nightmares and all
186
00:17:32.319 --> 00:17:36.440
sorts of stuff as my body actually
came back online and as I reconnected to
187
00:17:36.480 --> 00:17:41.480
myself. But what polly Vegal theory
teaches us is that, unfortunately, the
188
00:17:41.519 --> 00:17:45.839
body has to go through that process
in order to be able to come back
189
00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:49.759
up into safety. And so there
was a period at the start, and
190
00:17:49.799 --> 00:17:52.440
I do say this to people as
well. You know, like the healing
191
00:17:52.559 --> 00:17:59.039
process can get harder before it gets
easier, and it does get easier.
192
00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:04.799
It does get easier. I promise
it gets easier. So yeah, so
193
00:18:06.160 --> 00:18:08.559
from the outside someone might have said
on my mental health got worse for a
194
00:18:08.599 --> 00:18:14.799
period of time. It certainly felt
like it. But any day I would
195
00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:18.519
go through that again to get to
the place where I am now, because
196
00:18:18.519 --> 00:18:22.480
I know that where I am now, that will never get taken away from
197
00:18:22.480 --> 00:18:26.839
me now because I have the skills
to be able to keep myself here,
198
00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:33.480
like not every single second of every
single minute there, that's impossible, but
199
00:18:33.759 --> 00:18:41.480
to be able to feel safe and
connected and in my body is normal for
200
00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:45.240
me now and to me that's the
that's what we're trying to achieve when we
201
00:18:45.240 --> 00:18:49.759
talk about mental health. No,
I can see that. It's kind of
202
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:55.400
like you get to clean up the
closet before you know or get rid of
203
00:18:55.440 --> 00:19:00.000
the tumor before the body can heal. Exactly. Yeah, I think the
204
00:19:00.039 --> 00:19:04.599
tumor makes a little more sense than
cleaning at the closet because close it's just
205
00:19:04.680 --> 00:19:12.039
can keep getting messy. But but
sometimes that's how it feels when you're maybe
206
00:19:12.039 --> 00:19:15.880
the closet makes more sense because you're
always having to clean up the closet and
207
00:19:15.920 --> 00:19:22.960
reorganize it. But because it's an
ongoing battle day and day out. Some
208
00:19:23.079 --> 00:19:30.279
days are easier than others and it
does get better where it's manageable. So
209
00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:34.440
yeah, and you know, I
think what one I one thing I always
210
00:19:34.440 --> 00:19:40.839
want to maintain perspective on, is
that unless we're prepared to feel our pain,
211
00:19:41.079 --> 00:19:44.839
then we don't get to experience the
full extent of our joy and our
212
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:49.200
happiness and all of the positive things
that life brings as well. We don't
213
00:19:49.200 --> 00:19:55.920
get to choose. So the more
we allow in the what is the full
214
00:19:56.039 --> 00:20:00.640
range of human experience, the more
we open ourselves up to Cheue happiness and
215
00:20:00.720 --> 00:20:04.759
joy in our lives as well,
and I think, I personally think that
216
00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:11.400
is worth it every single time.
Okay, do you remember much of what
217
00:20:11.480 --> 00:20:21.400
the grooming process was like for you? I remember nothing. Even now I
218
00:20:21.480 --> 00:20:30.960
have virtually no conscious memory of anything
before the age of fifteen sixty. So
219
00:20:32.079 --> 00:20:38.279
I mean I have occasional flashbacks,
occasional snippets of pictures, things like that
220
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:48.599
that come into my mind, but
no, nothing else. Two other victims
221
00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:56.519
out there. What advice would you
want to give them? Well, I
222
00:20:56.519 --> 00:21:07.279
think this is something that you have
to discover yourself. But the most important
223
00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:12.200
thing to me is that you're not
broken and that there's nothing wrong with you
224
00:21:14.440 --> 00:21:23.440
and that anything that you're struggling with
right now is simply a response to the
225
00:21:23.640 --> 00:21:30.359
environment, to the surroundings, to
the trauma that you were exposed to,
226
00:21:30.480 --> 00:21:34.839
that you were forced to live through. And it can be very easy to
227
00:21:34.880 --> 00:21:40.839
think are anxious or, you know, I'm not able to get out of
228
00:21:40.839 --> 00:21:42.920
bed, so I'm lazy, I'm
you know, I'm Miss I'm that,
229
00:21:44.039 --> 00:21:49.359
all that self blaming stuff. It's
not your fault, you didn't do anything
230
00:21:49.359 --> 00:22:00.599
wrong, you were just a kid
and you're not broken. That's the most
231
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:07.279
important message of all to me.
Me, Um, what was the most
232
00:22:07.319 --> 00:22:15.119
important thing? You are in your
learning how to manage you. Manage my
233
00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:23.119
nervous system, because the nervous system
is what controls everything in the body.
234
00:22:25.920 --> 00:22:29.880
So and the trouble is most of
us are just I just at the win
235
00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:33.240
move our body. It's something happens
in the present moment. We get triggered.
236
00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:38.079
Were immediately back in that past memory. The nervous system is bringing up
237
00:22:38.119 --> 00:22:44.799
all the sensations of fear, anxiety, stress, worry, whatever was happening
238
00:22:44.839 --> 00:22:52.799
in that moment, and we lose
control. But if we build the skills
239
00:22:52.880 --> 00:22:56.480
to be able to master our nervous
system, to learn how to respond to
240
00:22:56.559 --> 00:23:03.680
that, then it doesn't have power
over us. Okay. So certainly that
241
00:23:03.799 --> 00:23:10.920
ability to master and to regulate our
nervous system is fundamental. Okay. Last
242
00:23:11.000 --> 00:23:18.119
question. How has this impacted your
faith? HMM, well, I've never
243
00:23:18.160 --> 00:23:26.119
been a religious person, but I
certainly think it has taken me on the
244
00:23:26.119 --> 00:23:33.000
path of spirituality. That's a door
that has opened then I have been grateful
245
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:41.319
to walk through it. And I
don't know if your listeners will be familiar
246
00:23:41.359 --> 00:23:48.519
with this, but part of my
experience in Central America was an Iowask a
247
00:23:48.559 --> 00:23:53.519
retreat, which is that a plant
medicine that's originates in Peru, I think,
248
00:23:53.960 --> 00:24:03.400
and it can be quite a spiritual
experience and it's meant for healing and
249
00:24:03.440 --> 00:24:08.640
that's the purpose of taking this medicine
and it can provide you with some really
250
00:24:08.720 --> 00:24:17.119
clear and deep insights as to your
trauma, but also your purpose and how
251
00:24:17.160 --> 00:24:22.839
to move forward through life. And
when I left that retreat, the message
252
00:24:22.880 --> 00:24:29.559
that came through to me was that
I need to live well, breathe deep
253
00:24:29.559 --> 00:24:34.839
and share the message of love,
and that's just been at the cornerstone of
254
00:24:36.039 --> 00:24:42.440
everything that I do now and to
me, that connection to spirituality and to
255
00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:48.279
that world is what is allowing me
to put that into practice, because that's
256
00:24:48.359 --> 00:24:52.759
what spirituality is to me. It's
living from a place of love, living
257
00:24:52.759 --> 00:24:59.920
from a place of an open heart, opening your heart to others, letting
258
00:24:59.960 --> 00:25:04.839
the them feel the love that's inside
of you, and that's what heals.
259
00:25:06.200 --> 00:25:07.880
Am I don't think I went on
a bit of a tangent there. I
260
00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:11.880
don't know if that was the answer
to your question at all, but there
261
00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:18.599
we go. I think that's it
best. Thanks for coming on our show.
262
00:25:18.920 --> 00:25:23.880
Hope to have you again on here
sometime again at some point. Is
263
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:30.200
there anything else you'd like to add
before we close out? And No,
264
00:25:30.359 --> 00:25:33.119
just thank you for having me and
if anyone would like to find me,
265
00:25:33.440 --> 00:25:37.720
and I have a support group on
facebook and I would love for you to
266
00:25:37.759 --> 00:25:41.519
come and say hello, so you
can find me just at Beck's crunchhore on
267
00:25:41.559 --> 00:25:45.240
facebook. And Yeah, it's been
beautiful sharing these things with you, so
268
00:25:45.400 --> 00:25:51.039
thank you so much. All right, guys, this is Rachel and recovery.
269
00:25:51.599 --> 00:25:56.400
You can follow us on social media, find us on your favorite part
270
00:25:56.400 --> 00:26:03.240
podcast platform or always find us on
reach on Recoverycom thanks for listening. See
271
00:26:03.279 --> 00:26:11.000
you next Thursday
