Episode Transcript
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Hi, we're on regional and recovery
with Stephanie College. She's going to tell
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the rest of her story and thanks
for listening. Here she is. I
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guess we kind of talked about that. How much of it is parents selling
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their children versus children and young people
being kidnapped? So I would say in
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terms of kidnapping from from a stranger, you know, the vand drives up.
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It happens, Um but I would
say from what I have seen and
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read and and in the survivors that
that I have dealt with, it's probably
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about one one to two as it
pertains to a stranger. Um, I
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would say that when it comes the
majority of victims and human trafficking, their
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trafficker is someone that they know,
and that includes a parent. So that
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could be a parent, it could
be a boyfriend, it could be a
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teacher, it could be someone in
their life that has entered their life that
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either has a place of power or
some type of influence or that they see
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as an influence that um or has
positioned their self in a place of power
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that that they are afraid to leave
or they are afraid to tell on.
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That is the most common yeah,
Um, I mean I guess and how
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much you know how much of this
is recorded in like like in the porno
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child pornography is or is that an
entirely? Are they related? Or there
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is some there can be some intersectionality
of that. So, Um, I'll
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just give you an example. When
we think of BNOGRAPHY as a whole and
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same thing, people will watch pornography
and just assume that everyone that they see
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on that screen is there because they
want to be there. Well, I
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have talked to victims of human trafficking
that have said that they have been forced
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into pornography by their pimps as another
way of making money. So you can
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imagine if that's what's happening with adults, you know the same thing. It's
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got to be happening with children.
So there is an intersectionality now, and
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does not mean that every victim of
human trafficking is forced into pornography. That's
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not what I'm saying. What I'm
saying is that, Um, the two
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can intersect one another, just like
labor trafficking can intersect human trafficking. So
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because you have sex trafficking, you
have labor trafficking, and so at times
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there have been situations where, Um, the two can intersect. Okay,
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I mean that makes a son of
sense. Um, what advice which you
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give survivors? The the advice that
I would give to survivors is to say
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that it is very understandable. People
will say, well, why don't they
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just leave? Why don't they just
leave, especially if they're an adult?
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Why don't they leave? Why is
it that a victim of human trafficking could
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go from state to state, be
are on an airplane, passed by a
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police station and they don't go in
and they don't tell? And what people
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need to understand is that there is
a uh, an emotional bond that forms,
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there is a fear factor. When
you look at people say the same
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thing about victims of domestic violence.
Well, why does that she just leave?
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There's several reasons right why she doesn't
leave, and so those same Um
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uh reasons are the reasons why the
victim of human trafficking doesn't leave. I
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wanted to say that all first so
that I so that the audience understands,
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so that I can say this.
Please know that there are there's hotlines.
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Law Enforcement now has a better understanding
than when I was on the force of
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what human trafficking victims are and what
they go through. Um, there are
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so many entities. Um Doctors,
emergency room doctors have been informed. There's
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so many entities and ways and hotlines
that you can call when you think it's
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safe enough for you to get away, because please know that there are nonprofit
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organizations and people that will be able
to support you and help you and give
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you, Um uh, the support
that you need to not only get away,
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but be able to help you with
your own strength so that you don't
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ever have to go back. We
believe you and I think a lot of
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survivors need that support and need to
hear that, because trauma bonds are very,
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very difficult to break. Absolutely,
absolutely, and I say the same
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thing to family. Understand that,
and I say this to people who are
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working in nonprofits. I have to
say to myself that you'll help somebody get
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out and because of the trauma bond, they may go back, but what
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they need to understand is that you
are going to be there and your door
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is going to be open for every
time they go and come back. Go
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and come back. I think the
number is something like six or seven times
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where they will leave and come back. So to those family members, and
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friends that want to support someone who
may be stuck in this life. Just
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know they may go and come back, go and come back. They need
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your support to know that every time
they come back you will be open because
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you understand the impact of trauma bond
and they're afraid. They're afraid for you,
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they're afraid for themselves. Yeah,
I mean I think the first time
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I truly understood trauma bonds was when
I was watching an episode of Grey's anatomy
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and the little girl had been kidnapped
and she missed her kidnapper sometimes because of
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a bond that that you know,
watching TV together or you know, doing
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fun things together, having that relationship
and Um, no, it's a huge
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the thing that I feel I until
you've lived it or at least you know
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maybe more communications about understanding trauma bonds, that's probably one of the most difficult
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things for people to wrap their heads
around until they've experienced it or at least
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heard about it and tried to understand
it absolutely. Uh, and see.
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What advice would you like to give
to their family and family and friends who
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are trying to be supportive or,
you know, want to be supportive,
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but they're really at a loss.
You know, that is such a hard
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one because when you really love someone
and right uh, and you see that
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they are living, Um, in
a situation that could eventually hurt them or
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kill them, and you want them
out, and you see that they're going
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back and forth, it makes it
so hard, Um, but they need
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you to believe in them and they
need you, as frustrating as it will
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be, to keep your door open
for them, because it is frustrating.
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I think it's important, um,
we talked about therapy. I think it's
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important for those family members to get
their own therapy as well, so that
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they also can remain strong and they
will also know what to do when they
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are dealing with someone who is,
uh, trauma bond or emotionally bond,
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right, because they have to take
care of themselves as well. So I
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just say keep supporting, keep loving
that person, no matter how hard it
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gets, because they need you,
because when they don't have you and they
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don't have anybody, they just stay. And because also, I want to
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add to that, what that trafficker
is telling them. Your mother doesn't care
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about you, your father doesn't care
about you. You go ahead and go
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over to them, but all they're
gonna do is just throw you out because
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they don't have any use for you, and so you don't want to help
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play out that false scenario that that
trafficker is setting. I guess. I
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guess with that. How would it
for family and friends to have healthy boundaries
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with the person that's been trafficked,
you know, for their own safety,
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in their own because, I mean
that affects of family. How do you
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manage that dynamic? I think you
have to, you know, and that's
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that's an individual thing, but I
think boundaries definitely have to be set.
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So in in in loving this person
and supporting them, boundaries absolutely have to
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be set. If them coming over
to the house is unsafe, maybe it
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might be a situation where you're gonna
have to meet them somewhere, you know
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what I mean. Um, so, uh, it might be a situation
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where, Um, you don't give
them money, but you may provide them
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food. So you just have to
set the boundaries that are going to be
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safe for the family member and that
are going to be safe and helpful to
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the family member that's coming for help. It's kind of like the person who
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is suffering from alcoholism, right.
You know, it's just the same.
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You've got to set boundaries. You
got to set boundaries. I think that
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would be really difficult as a parent
or as a you know, you see
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somebody that's hurting so much and just
trying to figure out how to manage,
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you know, boundaries with I think
what I think, what adds to that
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is, again, there are several
nonprofits that are out there that can also
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help the family members get through this
and be able to sit down with the
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survivor and the family. So there
is additional help that is out there that
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is specific to this issue. Okay, I mean that's that's super helpful,
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because I can't imagine what the toll
it takes on the family as well.
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A huge toll. Um. What
do you do for self care in your
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line of work? Huh, probably
not enough. I'm always being told that.
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Um, yeah, probably not enough. What I what I started doing,
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though, I'm kind of proud of
myself, is that I've started setting
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boundaries. Uh So, it used
to be, and I kid you not,
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I was on this phone ringing in
the middle of nine. I'm answering
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it. I'm trying to help.
When I'm not working, I'm thinking of
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ways that I of things I could
be doing, or I would even find
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myself, you know, enjoying something
and going like wait a minute, I
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need to be thinking about so and
so because she so I had to stop
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doing that and I started to go
like, okay, if I am off
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or I am on vacation, I'm
not gonna read anything on human trafficking,
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I am not going to look at
my emails. So, Um, I
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probably could get better, but I
have started at least not looking at my
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emails all my all my days off
or um, or trying not to answer
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the phone unless it's an an absolute
emergency. So I'm working on it.
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I know what to tell other people, though. Well, do you do
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hiking or you know, I actually
I, Um, I exercise, so
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that's been really good. Exercise have
been has been great. I've been on
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the TREADMILL, Um, I've I've
been doing that. So I've been exercising,
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I've been eating right. Um,
I have horses, so I've been
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been riding them. And then,
you know what I've doing? been doing
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too. It's just really pausing where
I do absolutely nothing and just free my
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brain and relax. So, yes, thank you for reminding me. See,
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you had to remind me hey.
I mean, I think anybody that
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does anything with this level of trauma, I think self care is, you
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know, essential. I mean it's
the only way to get through of it,
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because it can just eat you alive, so to speak, without you
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even knowing that it's eating you alive. Yeah, now it's it can be
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very emotionally and physically mentally exhausting.
Absolutely. Okay, Um, how has
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this impacted your faith? I'll tell
you. I think it's impact in my
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faith in a in a good way, and that it has strengthened it.
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And how it is strengthened? It
is, um through me praying for those
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that you know, I work with. But, interesting enough, it is
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strengthened it through the survivors, the
I've worked through, worked with, and
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their faith, watching their faith in
God, watching their faith in relying on
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God to get them through it.
And so when my faith would either be,
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that is being weak, not being
where it needs to be, I
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gathered from those that I'm helping them
and watching their strength, and some of
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that strength may even come from a
spiritual aspect from them where they may not
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be going to church, but they
really still believe that there's a higher power.
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And so watching. That really reminds
me. Okay, Stephanie, you
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know where your your your faith level
is. You know you need to kick
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it up a little bit, Girl. So, uh, that's how it
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has impacted there. Okay, is
there anything else you like to add that
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I didn't talk about? I didn't
address? I think you addressed everything and
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you asked great questions. All Right, Um, I think that's it.
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Um. So, thank you,
Stephanie, for being on our show and
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telling us all about sex trafficking and, Um, hopefully this can help some
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listeners who, you know, have
either been through sex trafficking or, Um,
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anybody that's working in the field with
victims. So are anybody just to
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be aware of sex trafficking. So
thank you so much for inviting me and
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thank you so much for caring enough
to put on this type of show.
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I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, not trafficking, but that's a lot
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of the reason I do this is
because I know there's so many people out
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there who it takes a lot of
courage to get better and it takes a
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lot of, you know, strength
to do recovery, because it's not for
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the week. I know so many
people that they're not willing to do the
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work to get better, but it
will impact their lives as long as they
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don't get help. But the one
thing about recovery that I've learned a lot
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recently you pretty much have to be
willing to risk losing everything in order to
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get better, and that's terrifying.
I agree. Same Thing for victims of
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human trafficing. So Um. For
All those who are survivors, keep working
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at it, whether it's new treatments, new, you know, support groups,
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uh, and just, you know, take care of yourselves out there.
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So Um. All right, and
I think that's it, guys.
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See you guys next Thursday. Listen
to us on your favorite podcast or social
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media platform and, as always,
uh, if you have any questions,
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reach out on social media or on
Rachel and Recovery Dot Com. Thanks for listening.
